i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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