I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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