You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
