You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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