I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
