I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think my moral compass just broke
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