You can't motorboat a personality
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
