How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
