I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
