we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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