So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
