I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
