If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize