All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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