Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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