WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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