just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize