I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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