so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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