Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
