His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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