I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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