Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All the doctor said was why
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize