We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
