I'm lost and stupid without you.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
