we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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