well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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