i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
