Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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