yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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