You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
