what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
