i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The adults are the big ones right?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
