I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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