We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
