I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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