Pappa wants mamma naked
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
