he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
smell my finger.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
