I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
