Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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