this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
