plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just want to make out with him forever
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
