Apparently you make a good broom.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
