WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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