we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Semen is not good for contacts.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
