I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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