I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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