I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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