what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
