You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So many bounce houses so little time
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
