i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize