And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
