why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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