Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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