So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize