I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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