he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you are never too drunk for berry picking
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
