But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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