I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
