I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
