So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
