Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
