Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i came on her dog
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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