you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
