dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
