Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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