i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize