Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
