i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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