Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
As shirtless as possible
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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