i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
