Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
