that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
this is an emotional support booty call
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
