We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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