I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
